First Session at the Dungeon? Here’s What To Expect

New clients often arrive at the dungeon for the first time unsure of what's about to happen. That uncertainty is understandable.

Media portrayals of dungeons, Dominatrices, and BDSM sessions tend to be dramatic and misleading, and many people assume they'll be ambushed the moment the door opens, gagged and restrained before they've even taken off their coat.

In reality, a professional session is consensual, structured, and built around communication. Unless we've specifically negotiated otherwise, the experience unfolds in clear stages, each with its own purpose. This post walks through those stages so you can arrive knowing what to expect.

Every Dominant works differently, so keep in mind that what follows only reflects how I personally structure sessions.

Before You Arrive

Preparation begins well before the day of your session.

The booking process starts by filling out my request form, where you'll share your interests, limits, and anything else I should know. A deposit secures your appointment, and you are expected to arrive ready with remaining tribute in cash at the start of the session.

A few points of etiquette are worth knowing in advance. Please arrive on time, but not early. Arrive with impeccable hygiene, and address me as Ms. Mars unless I've invited you to use another title. Full details are on my [booking page] and in my [FAQ].

If you're new to kink, or unsure what you'd like to explore, a consultation can be a helpful first step. It gives us space to talk through your interests before committing to a full session.

Arrival

When you arrive, knock on the door and I will come greet you. Do not arrive early as you will not be allowed in until your scheduled session time. Once inside, you'll have a chance to remove your shoes and coat and use the washroom. If you haven't already provided your tribute, I'll remind you to do so before we move into our check-in.

Negotiation and Check-In

Before any play begins, we'll sit down together for a brief conversation about the session. We'll cover expectations, safety protocols, boundaries and limits, accessibility needs, and aftercare. I may also ask how you're feeling that day, whether you have particular goals in mind, or anything else relevant to our time together.

Even when much of this has been covered on the booking form, the check-in still matters. It's where we establish connection and a shared sense of security, and it gives both of us the chance to adjust plans based on how you're actually feeling in the moment.

Transition

Once our conversation is finished, I'll give you a moment to undress or change, and we'll begin moving gradually into the scene. I often use this time for a little breath work and intention setting, which helps us both settle into our bodies and into the space.

This transition is intentional. Shifting from conversation into play takes a moment, and easing into it tends to make the scene that follows feel far more immersive.

The “Scene”

The scene is the play portion of the session, where we explore what we discussed during negotiation. I guide and facilitate everything that happens during this time. You're encouraged to engage with me as appropriate, and to advocate for yourself whenever you need to.

Connection and trust tend to deepen as a scene progresses. That growing sense of safety is what allows fantasies to be explored openly and desires to be expressed without self-consciousness, and for many clients it's what makes the experience feel meaningful long after it ends.

Roughly 20 minutes before the end of the session, I begin guiding the scene toward its close and into aftercare, so nothing feels rushed.

Aftercare

Time is always reserved for aftercare before you prepare to leave. Aftercare refers to the emotional, mental, and physical care given to everyone involved once a scene ends, helping each person transition back into everyday life feeling supported and settled. What it looks like depends on the person and the intensity of the scene. I've written about it in much more depth in my post on BDSM aftercare.

Departure

At least five minutes are set aside at the end of every session for you to get dressed, collect your belongings, and use the washroom if needed, so you can leave on time without feeling hurried.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I need experience with BDSM to book a session?

None at all! Many clients book their first session with little or no experience, and I love working with beginners. Negotiation is designed to meet you wherever you are, and a consultation is always available if you'd like to talk things through first.

What if I want to stop during the scene?

Before play begins, we'll agree on how you can pause or end the scene at any time. Advocating for yourself is always encouraged, and checking in is a normal part of how I facilitate.

Will the session include anything we didn't discuss?

No. The scene is built from what we agree on during negotiation. Anything outside those boundaries stays off the table.

Do I need to tip?

Any tips or additional tokens of appreciation are always welcome and entirely up to your discretion.

How should I address you?

Please address me as Ms. Mars. Other honourifics, such as Mistress, are reserved for clients with whom I've established an in-person dynamic.